Mr. Prister

Well hello there, internet person.

If you're reading this then you may have just got very unlucky while smashing your head against your keyboard in a murderous rage. Maybe you're here because I've done something to offend you or do you want to strike up some stalker victim relationship?

I suppose that it may even be possible that my handle has become a thing of legend, maybe it's even getting whispered down dark alleys as a threat or used to spread fear and chaos throughout the known universe.

In the event of any of the above scenarios or many other possible routes that have lead you here on this fateful day; this page should document some basic information about the human behind the handle, Mr. Prister

The basics:

• Species: Homo sapiens sapiens (Human)
• Gender: Male
• Human Name: Matt
• Start Date: 15/05/1990
• Age: 34 years
• Height: 1.80m
• Location: United Kingdom

But what about the person behind Mr.Prister, what about their likes and dislikes, wishes and dreams, their darkest secrets and most primal fears I hear you wail. Fear not weary traveller, this next section has you nowhere near covered but it's the best your gonna get; so you're just going to have to accept it.

Likes:

• Marmite
• Food
• The smell of wood
• The IT Crowd
• A cold pillow
• Waking up and realising it's the weekend

Dislikes:

• Seeds in jam

  come on people, I don't want to eat this sudo gravel crap.

• Coffee

  stop putting it in chocolate cakes you monsters.

• Cold Callers & Scammers

  subhuman scum.

Things That Are Overrated:

• Sushi

  i just don't understand the appeal, it's boring ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

• Designer Clothes

  Calvin, Louis or Hugo can fuck right off.

• American Football

  A 3+ hour game where the ball is in play for 11 minuets and with an hour of adverts.

Fears:

• The open ocean / very deep water.

  I'm not a fish, I don't want to join them, stop pouring concrete on my feet!

• Spiders

  But only if the run at me, jump scare me or I have to stare at them for ages.

• Very large crowds

  At 6 or 7 people per square metre you can't move, the crowd starts to act like a liquid, you literally go with the flow. At around 10 people per square meter you start suffocating.

Things I'm Bad At:

• Spelling
• Getting enough sleep
• Not procrastinating

Hobbies:

• Procrastinating
• Vidya
• Programming
• Drawing
• Cooking

Enjoyable Music Genres:

• Rock
• Metal
• Grunge
• Britpop & alternative rock
• Some country
• A little dash of folk & shanties
• 80's

Songs that slap:

For your convenience i've even added links for every, single, song, how about that!

If you've got this far then you either pressed the end button or have more patience than most. So as a reward:

CONGRATULATIONS, YOU'RE AWESOME

Have a wonderful existance fellow human / robot / lizard man